Drunk?

10. Your head becomes immune to concrete and marble floors.

9. You can't help but proclaim how beautiful everyone is.

8. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

7. The glass keeps missing your mouth.

6. You can focus better with one eye closed.

5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

3. Your job is interfering with your drinking.

2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.